OB sucks and she does it quite well.

Dear Office Bitch,


How do I deal with a coworker from the mail room who doesn't respect my personal space? I know he's been reprimanded for being rude and now it seems he's trying to be overly nice to everyone including me but there's a line and he's crossing it! I don't want to be mean but I've tried joking around and my point is not getting across. He's super creepy... I certainly do not want to see anyone fired but dammit!!

Signed,

Creepy is as creepy does





Creepy is not cool,



Soooo sorry! I totally suck you, guys! I have about 10 fans devoted fans out there and I have totally been neglecting you. I have been entirely busy attempting to have a life that I have not been able to write you a response. I hope during my little vacation that you didn't assault this way ward co-worker, Ms. Upset about working with Creepy.



Yep. we have all been there. That one person we all know in the office. He is as sweet as can be but something about him makes you worried about being stuck in an elevator with him for longer than 30 seconds. This guy doesn't have to be in the mailroom, he could be the creepy partner with the watery beady eyes or that freak of nature giant from duplicating or that Goth girl the million earrings out of every orifice she has (you imagine) that works the overnight, but you are not quite sure what she does during the overnight. These people are socially awkward and sometimes simply don't pick up social queue's that indicate "That's not Kosher". I am sure that I have suffered from it a time or two myself. Or sometimes this person doesn't care is simply doing it for their own amusement. I believe though that you indicated that this person is simply not able to pick up on a social queue or two.



Certain guys never evolved from the Tarzan stage when courting meant beating you over the head with a club and dragging you back to his cave for sexual intercourse and perpetual servitude (i.e. marriage). I happen to know that you are a girl and the perpetrator a guy. I am thinking that this guy does not know how to talk to girls and never left the stage when we were 7 and we knew a boy liked us because he pulled our hair and kicked us in the shin in the playground and then pushed us on the swing. We gleefully played along with this game until the fifth grade boys were taught how to properly flirt by their older brothers and they shared this new skill with the friends and our older sisters and girl cousins told us that 1st , 2nd and 3rd base sometimes had little to do with baseball. This guy, sadly, simply wasn't able to keep up for one reason or another. And now he is an adult. He is an adult in the working world full of beautiful women to whom he does not know how to talk. He may or may not have been in relationships, he may or may not be a virgin. He is certainly very awkward and probably kind of shy around girls and what makes it difficult is that he has a heart of gold. This kind of sucks for you because you like him you think he's a nice guy, and you just can't take it any more, and let's face it as nice as he is he kind of gives you the creeps.


So basically don't play the victim. Give him the "FUCKING CUT IT OUT" face. Make it clear that there is a line and he has crossed it. Give him the cold shoulder and when he asks, tell him that you don't appreciate his actions. You could ask a friend of his to talk to him about it as well, being socially awkward he may feel hurt but his friend telling him to quit it is better than HR, you know? If he's your friend, he'll apologize and never do it again to you or any other woman. He will not understand it any other way and it sucks because it's awkward and it puts your friendship at risk. However you must address it because it will eventually blow up at some inappropriate time and lead you straight to HR. Direct him to read this maybe?


In the mean time enjoy this game and imagine it's him: http://www.blugah.com/game.php?id=48


And so I have spoken,
OB