I have been quiet mainly because there have been no noteworthy etiquette letters to answer. You want more entries send me YO letters! ANYWAYS. I did get an interesting question:
Dear OB (sans lube),
I have always been told that it is inappropriate to give your boss a Christmas/Holiday gift, is this true?
Sincerely,
Awkward
Dear Awkward,
It IS true. You are NOT suppose to give your boss anything more than a card with an expression of appreciation during the holidays. This is especially true if you are in an organization that is larger than say 30 people. It is inappropriate to give it and inappropriate for your boss to expect one.
The reasons for this are manifold but in short:
1. it is the Boss that is suppose to be giving the gifts to his or her employees for their hard work on their and the company's behalf, besides they make more money than you.
2. You don't want to look like you are trying to carry favor (brown nose)
3. Back to your boss, it makes for an awkward situation if you have a total jerk for a boss who doesn't give presents - what are you doing paying homage to a dick that could care less?
4. Maybe your co-workers don't have it in their budgets to give extraneous gifts to anyone outside of their immediate family and they maybe the only unable to give to (brown nose) the boss for the holidays.
5. Gift giving is personal and if you and your boss aren't on that level it can lead to a level of uncomfortable hot mess if the gift isn't quite right or worse dead wrong.
However, there are exceptions to this rule. If you work in a small family like environment where it is you and only a few other people, that is a bit different. Those people probably know you on a wholly different level than a "cog-in-the machine" employee, so if you are comfortable giving your boss a gift in such an environment, that's fine.
Also what irks me is the "group" gift where you are forced to give the boss a gift of some sort. You all pool money together, buy a gift and sign a card. You end up looking like a douche if you don't donate and your name isn't on the card. This can make for an awkward employer/employee relationship if you simply can't afford that couple of extra bucks because you've got other obligations. It is one thing to decide to be rude and give the boss a gift from yourself, but it is a whole other level of rudeness to force it upon your co-workers by subtly coercing them into giving a gift to their boss which is inappropriate to give.
We all need our jobs and I understand in this economy you'll do what you have to in order to keep it. But seriously folks, they are your supervisor. They make more money than you, and you work to make them look good. THAT is the gift you give to them almost every week of the year. Let them give you the Christmas gift, OK?
That is all,
OB.
Ready for PART DEUX? I KNEW IT
What should you give you boss.
Ok... DO NOT GIVE THEM YOUR ASS TO KEEP, but rather give them your ass to kiss....
1. Fruitcake that is 20 years or older is a given, natually. Place it in a box full of cedar chips and mothballs to make the gift complete.
2. A hand knitted kitten -faced sweater made out of dog fur
3. Designer Imposter's Gorgio perfume gift certificate
4.Tickets stubs from the 1994 World Series - if you can find them
5. A Mason jar full of bathroom air that night you got food poisoning at the chinese food place.
6. Pepsi Clear
7. Plastic bamboo earrings that have been dipped in gold paint.
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
Friday, July 23, 2010
So, um, yeah...
I stepped out on y'all for a moment, but "The Bitch" is back and she still has to take it with no lube. Soooooooooooooo(silence)
.
.
.
.
No, I am not going to tell you my dirty business, not at all!
What I will talk about is someone else's business, as usual. Now this does not pertain to anyone with whom I work, just some random people I don't know. So, I was walking down the street returning from lunch, and I saw this girl walking with her friend (also a girl). She was walking strangely. She happened to say, "This is the second time I've gotten a Brazilian wax. I swear to f*cking God, it is just as bad as the first." Ouch! Eeew! And Gross! I said quietly to myself, but it got me thinking: I've totally been there.
I work in a fairly large city (Many of you know where because you are my very own friends). I have had a discussion or two about running out to get the toes done and the eyebrows waxed and, yes, even getting a bikini/Brazilian wax done in that allotted hour of the day that they unchain you from your desk. My lady coworkers and I have exchanged information on who can do it the best and the quickest. We plan carefully so that we can go on the least busiest day (Mon, Tues or Wed. -btw). On the other hand, I have also hung out with men. Do you know what they do during their lunch hour? Eat. That's it.
It is a double standard? Possibly. Depends on the man. I certainly know more than a few who wax the chest, back, sack, crack and brow, but always on a weekend. Women are juggling motherhood, career and social obligations, weekends are just as bad as weekdays. Still...
Tell me ladies do you think it wise to put yourself through such torture in the middle of a work day? I mean female maintenance is crucial to many, I won't disagree. Still that unscratchable itch in the middle of the day is simply not worth it when I still have another 4 to 6 hours to go. And Dear Lord PLEASE don't make it a hot and humid day when I get the work done. ((I just shuddered at my desk)).
Anyway, I'm done now.
Love,
YOB
.
.
.
.
No, I am not going to tell you my dirty business, not at all!
What I will talk about is someone else's business, as usual. Now this does not pertain to anyone with whom I work, just some random people I don't know. So, I was walking down the street returning from lunch, and I saw this girl walking with her friend (also a girl). She was walking strangely. She happened to say, "This is the second time I've gotten a Brazilian wax. I swear to f*cking God, it is just as bad as the first." Ouch! Eeew! And Gross! I said quietly to myself, but it got me thinking: I've totally been there.
I work in a fairly large city (Many of you know where because you are my very own friends). I have had a discussion or two about running out to get the toes done and the eyebrows waxed and, yes, even getting a bikini/Brazilian wax done in that allotted hour of the day that they unchain you from your desk. My lady coworkers and I have exchanged information on who can do it the best and the quickest. We plan carefully so that we can go on the least busiest day (Mon, Tues or Wed. -btw). On the other hand, I have also hung out with men. Do you know what they do during their lunch hour? Eat. That's it.
It is a double standard? Possibly. Depends on the man. I certainly know more than a few who wax the chest, back, sack, crack and brow, but always on a weekend. Women are juggling motherhood, career and social obligations, weekends are just as bad as weekdays. Still...
Tell me ladies do you think it wise to put yourself through such torture in the middle of a work day? I mean female maintenance is crucial to many, I won't disagree. Still that unscratchable itch in the middle of the day is simply not worth it when I still have another 4 to 6 hours to go. And Dear Lord PLEASE don't make it a hot and humid day when I get the work done. ((I just shuddered at my desk)).
Anyway, I'm done now.
Love,
YOB
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
HAPPY NEW YEAR MERRY CHRISTMAS ETC ETC
I have been tardy for the party. To be quite honest with you, I actually split my time between receptioning and school. This past semseter was a KILLER.
What did I do at the Christmas party this year? I know what you want me to say: Grey Goose and Cran, and an executive but, no. The Bitch behaved. She had her big girl panties on and they STAYED on. How many times do I have to tell you I am the Office Bitch not the Office Slut. If you are the resident slut and trying to take yourself out of slutdom there is a very simple way to avoid this: GRAN PANS! That's right wear those granny panties and shame should keep you from doing anything that would be office gossip the next day. If that STILL doesn't stop you, you aren't a slut you'se a ho. That's ok, you be you. We will enjoy passing around pictures of your butt on copy machine.
OB did get a question:
Dear Office Bitch sans Lube,
What do I do when I get cursed out for no good reason by an executive?
Sincerely,
Tongue Lashed.
OUCH! I'll tell you later on this week. Stay tuned.
If you have a question of OB please email it to: yourofficebtch@aol.com
What did I do at the Christmas party this year? I know what you want me to say: Grey Goose and Cran, and an executive but, no. The Bitch behaved. She had her big girl panties on and they STAYED on. How many times do I have to tell you I am the Office Bitch not the Office Slut. If you are the resident slut and trying to take yourself out of slutdom there is a very simple way to avoid this: GRAN PANS! That's right wear those granny panties and shame should keep you from doing anything that would be office gossip the next day. If that STILL doesn't stop you, you aren't a slut you'se a ho. That's ok, you be you. We will enjoy passing around pictures of your butt on copy machine.
OB did get a question:
Dear Office Bitch sans Lube,
What do I do when I get cursed out for no good reason by an executive?
Sincerely,
Tongue Lashed.
OUCH! I'll tell you later on this week. Stay tuned.
If you have a question of OB please email it to: yourofficebtch@aol.com
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