Hark the Herald Brown Nose Bribe.....

I have been quiet mainly because there have been no noteworthy etiquette letters to answer. You want more entries send me YO letters! ANYWAYS. I did get an interesting question:

Dear OB (sans lube),

I have always been told that it is inappropriate to give your boss a Christmas/Holiday gift, is this true?

Sincerely,
Awkward


Dear Awkward,

It IS true. You are NOT suppose to give your boss anything more than a card with an expression of appreciation during the holidays. This is especially true if you are in an organization that is larger than say 30 people. It is inappropriate to give it and inappropriate for your boss to expect one.

The reasons for this are manifold but in short:

1. it is the Boss that is suppose to be giving the gifts to his or her employees for their hard work on their and the company's behalf, besides they make more money than you.

2. You don't want to look like you are trying to carry favor (brown nose)

3. Back to your boss, it makes for an awkward situation if you have a total jerk for a boss who doesn't give presents - what are you doing paying homage to a dick that could care less?

4. Maybe your co-workers don't have it in their budgets to give extraneous gifts to anyone outside of their immediate family and they maybe the only unable to give to (brown nose) the boss for the holidays.

5. Gift giving is personal and if you and your boss aren't on that level it can lead to a level of uncomfortable hot mess if the gift isn't quite right or worse dead wrong.

However, there are exceptions to this rule. If you work in a small family like environment where it is you and only a few other people, that is a bit different. Those people probably know you on a wholly different level than a "cog-in-the machine" employee, so if you are comfortable giving your boss a gift in such an environment, that's fine.

Also what irks me is the "group" gift where you are forced to give the boss a gift of some sort. You all pool money together, buy a gift and sign a card. You end up looking like a douche if you don't donate and your name isn't on the card. This can make for an awkward employer/employee relationship if you simply can't afford that couple of extra bucks because you've got other obligations. It is one thing to decide to be rude and give the boss a gift from yourself, but it is a whole other level of rudeness to force it upon your co-workers by subtly coercing them into giving a gift to their boss which is inappropriate to give.

We all need our jobs and I understand in this economy you'll do what you have to in order to keep it. But seriously folks, they are your supervisor. They make more money than you, and you work to make them look good. THAT is the gift you give to them almost every week of the year. Let them give you the Christmas gift, OK?



That is all,
OB.


Ready for PART DEUX? I KNEW IT

What should you give you boss.

Ok... DO NOT GIVE THEM YOUR ASS TO KEEP, but rather give them your ass to kiss....

1. Fruitcake that is 20 years or older is a given, natually. Place it in a box full of cedar chips and mothballs to make the gift complete.

2. A hand knitted kitten -faced sweater made out of dog fur

3. Designer Imposter's Gorgio perfume gift certificate

4.Tickets stubs from the 1994 World Series - if you can find them

5. A Mason jar full of bathroom air that night you got food poisoning at the chinese food place.

6. Pepsi Clear

7. Plastic bamboo earrings that have been dipped in gold paint.